20:39 10/13/23
It rained today, not heavy or anything but it was raining most of the day. I enjoy this time of year, it’s cool and wet. They had me help in other departments today, camping and hunting. But mostly hunting. It was a nice change and I stayed busy all day. Just stocking and whatnot. A coworker told me about his job in search and rescue a little bit. My boss mocked me in the break room I think, I think I mumble a lot without knowing. Something to work on I guess.
I applied for the position last night and have yet to hear back, idk if I will but at least I sent an app. Would increase my income a bit and give me something to do on campus. I enjoy being there more than being at home, anyway. Still need to study for that math class too.
Not sure if my boss will give me the time off to go to Kumoricon, will be kinda annoying if not as I already bought my badge. I’ll just make up an urgent reason or something or offer to work during the week that week. Maybe he’ll be nice then. I kinda want to do a crossplay, not sure who though. maybe a vtuber? An idol could also be fun! I need to buy *something* to put on my head, at least.
Pretty much all my idle thoughts are being occupied by the big thing right now. idk… I’m afraid to even write about it. But, I think most normal guys think about it at least somewhat? Like, if I had the chance to change a single cell in the summer of 2002, I’d seriously consider it. But at the same time, I don’t really mind being a guy, being a guy is great. But how can I know that for sure until I walk the path? Maybe I just wanna experience both? Idk. Getting fully feminized and living a life like that just sounds really nice in a non-sexual way. I started letting new people I meet online assume I’m female and I’ve been considering voice training just to play with it a bit, so even if this ultimately amounts to nothing I could get a cool trick out of it.
Need to start going to the gym too. (I’m not fat just kinda out of shape)
Track: https://youtu.be/haR-XzzPEVw?si=bUQY8Ah3rSe9_qn7
Goodnight 💕
-a