School could have gone better, missed my second class because i misread my schedule. trued to go late but i would have interrupted if i went in so i just left. Math 95 had a sub today and they just lectured for 3 hours.

The feelings keep coming and going, almost like an uncomfortable longing. I dont really know how else to describe it and its coming more and more. This predates my fears about balding but i feel like this worry has sent these feelings into overdrive. I always kinda felt like i had a decent shot at passing if thats the conclusion i came to. So i felt like i could put it off until i moved out to fully explore it. But now i feel like that chance could be ripped away from me at any moment and it makes me want to cry.

Honestly im not even sure, like this isnt sexual at all and the “if i could be reborn id probably be reborn” idea has been present in me for as long as i can remember. But at the same time i dont really mind being a guy and i dont want to cry when i look in the mirror.

No lofi track tonight, ive been listening to 2010s hits because it makes me nostalgic.
https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3FeewjLi5LMzIpV4h35QEz?si=14249bdd9fea42e2

Goodnight ❤️

-a