0235 am… I got an extension on a paper I hadn’t even started and I should really be working on it right now… but I feel kinda eh and need to write this. College as expected hasn’t been going too hot. Im not really sure what to do honestly. I don’t really have a path forward that doesn’t involve an education. My desire to become a pilot is starting to come back again, but id need to pass the cogscreen to pull it off. And if i can’t pass a free a class then I’m not sure I can pass that. The lifestyle is really appealing to me, even the bad parts of it. You only work around 15 days a month but you’re away from home over 50% of the time supposedly depending on the airline. Especially if you’re working for a cargo carrier. It’s very hard on relationships, which is why I kinda think it might be a good job for me.

I’ve been thinking a bit and I’m kinda starting to realize that I don’t really like… want a relationship in the first place. When I think about getting into one it’s always like “It’ll make paying rent easier” and i don’t think it’s right to get into a relationship solely for that. I don’t really see my relationship status changing much in the next 5 years so why not go for a career that pays well and where my having no partner is an advantage? I’ve wanted this job for years anyway.