So I’ve basically cleared the last barrier, the examiner says I showed no significant response, and now it goes off to QC to get finalized. Apparently me showing up sick made the data pretty funky. It could come back and need a do-over, but she said she doesn’t foresee that. Apparently, I showed some response to the integrity questions, but not enough to be a real concern. I’ll know by Monday. It’s not an experience I’d like to repeat, and when leaving, I was like, “Well, I hope I don’t see you again.” The lady was nice enough, and it wasn’t really a personal judgment on her; there’s just too much at stake right now.

I talked to the people there a bit about the school, and apparently, it’s not actually that hard, and the level of person the Navy sends through is just pretty low. That isn’t really reassuring, though, and it still has the highest dropout rate after Buds and nuke school. I don’t particularly see myself as a high-level person. I tend to excel in whatever I try when I actually put even a minimal amount of effort into it, but getting real effort out of me is incredibly difficult. Be it rowing, socializing, drawing, or learning. I’ve failed to excel at any of those things. Most of which by simply refusing to show up. I almost wonder if I should just accept that and pick an easier job and just coast to 20.

I think I need to start evaluating my personal relationships more. I feel like I’m in one where I view them as an equal, but I don’t really think it’s reciprocated. I think it might be within a few months of expiring anyway, so maybe the problem will solve itself.